Dear Diary,
It seems like I never get what I want.
I never feel good enough.
I give and give, but I never get anything in return.
Nothing seems to work, and here I am again… sad (SO sad), confused (SO confused), and tired (SO tired).
And when I dare to think about what I could do better or differently, my mind spins out of control. I get so anxious I can’t even think. So, here I sit, writing to you, crying again, feeling hopeless.
My partner doesn’t understand and blames me, never taking responsibility or helping me. I’m tired of it. I resent it. I feel like the only one doing anything around here. Yet I never get ahead or feel like any of it is appreciated or worth it.
I’m so irritable that I snap at everyone. I don’t want to have any fun. (What is that anyway?) I don’t even want to be around me – but here I am… stuck again.
I’m so tired of this feeling, but how to get out of it?
The monster of the mind…
It’s no way to live: trapped in the patterns you developed as you learned to navigate life.
You’ve probably wondered why others “have it so much easier.” Maybe they do… or maybe they just don’t talk about it. Everyone keeps things hidden and in the dark – silently running in the background of the mind, like a monster that grows bigger and bigger in the darkness.
Then, something “bad” happens, and we turn to look at that monster, which has grown out of control. It’s gnashing its teeth and fighting for attention. And each time you “feed it” attention, it gets even bigger until it starts to take over your life.
That monster’s name is fear.
It’s a master of disguise and wears all sorts of masks: anger, resentment, irritation, anxiety, depression, defensiveness, indignation, entitlement, or righteousness. It says lots of things, too, like:
“It’s not fair!”
“If I just give a little more, he’ll pay attention to me.”
“If I do this or that, I’ll be appreciated.”
“I would feel so much better if they returned the favor.”
Sometimes you need a partner.
Having someone to talk to – someone who can come into your world to give you a “fresh-eyed” perspective and help you sort things – is what therapy is about.
Whether we work together online or in person, you’ll see me sitting in my office with my chakra flags, stones, crystals, and a picture of Maui on the wall behind me.
I will let you talk and ask you questions about your life. I want to know how you came to be where you are today.
I’m a visual learner and a true empath, so as you talk, I’ll picture your life in my mind and feel your world for 50 minutes.
From this position, I will guide you into new perspectives – a new way of thinking and being. You’ll see how talking about your monster makes it shrink from the light that we shine on it.
Soon, you’ll see exactly what it is… and what will take its place!
Let’s slow down the conveyor belt.
Take a deep breath.
(OMG – Don’t you hate it when someone tells you to calm down and take a deep breath?? I want to smack them!!)
Nevertheless, it’s a fact that when you take a deep breath, you give your mind a nanosecond’s break from thinking. IT’S TRUE! Try it. Take one deep breath in for a count of three and exhale for a count of three.
Did you notice something? NO? Okay, take three deep breaths in a row. Now?
Did your mind stop… then start back up?
There’s an “I Love Lucy” episode where Lucille and Ethel work at the conveyor belt in a chocolate factory. Their job is simple: wrap each chocolate candy in wax paper as it comes down the line. At first, they have no trouble. But as the conveyor belt starts speeding up, they start falling behind. They start scrambling, doing whatever they can to keep up (including eating the chocolates!). It eventually devolves into chaos: Chocolates are flying, and Lucille and Ethel are left with crooked aprons, messed up hair, and chocolates dropping out of their hats!
Take a deep breath and slow your thoughts. Slow that conveyor belt. Observe your thoughts instead. Step back and listen. Don’t react… just observe what your thoughts are truly saying.
Do you believe these thoughts?
Are they old thoughts?
Are they the monster’s thoughts… based on fears?
Where did these thoughts come from?
What would you rather be thinking?
Did you know that YOU are in charge of the conveyor belt? YEP! You can slow it down and even stop it at any time!
I can show you the way.
When you engage in individual therapy, you are committing to an investigation of your inner world that will result in your personal growth.
Before you begin, I believe you need to know what you’re getting into and organize your thoughts around what you want to achieve.
I offer a free 15-minute initial phone consultation. This will help you clarify where you are now, what you hope to achieve in therapy, and what might be a barrier to achieving your goals. If we’re a good fit, we can schedule your initial appointment.
Now… let’s shrink that monster!
Reach out today to schedule your consultation: (785) 817-0517.